Good IT jokes are few and far between, especially when it comes to cybersecurity. That’s why we put on our creativity hats to brainstorm joke after joke – with a break to pull in a few of our favorites from the web – for the ultimate result: the motherlode (or should we say motherboard?) of cybersecurity jokes and puns. P.S.: we side with Alfred Hitchcock on this one: puns are the highest form of literature.
Everyone deserves an eye-catching intro to break the ice at the start of a meeting or spice up a PowerPoint – gotta keep the CEO’s attention somehow! And no joke is complete without the perfect graphic. Feel free to grab ours and include them in your next newsletter, quarterly presentation, or for a workday pick-me-up.
Without further ado, we present…
Our Favorite Cybersecurity Jokes
1. Why didn’t the IT team set up their remote office from the beach?
It was too cloudy.
2. What did the moderator say to kick off the IT speed dating session?
“Singles, sign on!”
3. What’s a hacker’s favorite season?
Phishing season.
4. What do you call a turtle that surfs the dark web?
A TORtoise (source)
5. How do programmers like their brownies?
GUI...yum!
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6. What do you call an excavated pyramid?
Unencrypted.
7. What’s a programmer’s least favorite Pixar movie?
A Bug’s Life.
8. Why did the programmer go to rehab?
He was addicted to coding.
9. What’s the best way to catch a runaway robot?
Use a botnet.
10. What do you call a group of math and science geeks at a party?
Social engineers.
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11. Did you hear about the cybercriminal who got away?
They ransomware.
12. What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup?
There are plenty of phish in the sea.
13. How did the vegetable farmer sell his produce on the dark web?
He used onion routing.
14. Why are emails so lonely?
They are afraid of attachments. (source)
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15. Why did the programmer leave the camping trip early?
There were too many bugs.
16. Why did the AI refuse to play hide and seek?
Because it knew it couldn’t hide its data breaches!
17. An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches and asks…
“May I join you?” (source)
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18. There are 10 types of people in this world —those who understand binary and those who don’t.
19. Why don’t young programmers write in script these days?
They were only taught Java.
20. Did you hear about the computer that kept rebooting?
It was terminal.
21. After a life of cybercrime, how did the hacker get to heaven?
The password hadn’t been changed in 2000 years.
22. What’s one step that witches and wizards take to ensure data security?
Quill testing.
23. Why did the football team fumble the handoff?
They didn’t use a secure transfer method.
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24. How was Forrest Gump's password cracked?
Because 1Forrest1 was easy to guess. (source)
25. There’s No Place Like 127.0.0.1
26. I used to have a joke I told at parties about the UDP protocol.
But I could never tell if they got it.
27. Why did the password lack confidence?
It was insecure. (source)
28. How many software developers does it take to change a light bulb?
Can’t be done, it’s a hardware problem.
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29. Why didn’t the shopper go down the canned meat aisle in the grocery store?
Her SPAM filters were on.
30. Why didn’t the company move into the Castle in the Sky?
There wasn’t enough cloud storage.
31. What’s another name for apple juice?
iPhone charger.
32. If girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, and boys are made of slime, snails, and puppy-dog tails, what’s the cloud made from?
Linux servers, mostly. (source)
33. What's a secret agent's go-to fashion?
Spyware.
34. What kind of leak can't be fixed by a plumber?
A data leak. (source)
35. What did the moderator say to kick off the IT speed dating session?
“Singles, sign on!”
Other Cybersecurity Jokes & Comics to Follow
Looking for more tech, cybersecurity, and (mostly) office-appropriate jokes? Check out some of our faves:
XKCD — created by Randall Munroe — topics of this quintessential internet-famous strip include math, language, and science. Come for the graphs, stay for the laughs!
Break Time! — Eight Fortra-sactioned cybersecurity games. Learn about cybersecurity, and teach your non-security coworkers the ins and outs of your job!
Gather material for your own puns by checking out our almost-comprehensive library of cybersecurity topics.
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